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I need to read…
It happened in a blink of an eye. More than 25 years ago. My collegiate hockey career, for what it was, was long behind me. This was a pick-up game. A lazy Saturday afternoon. I should have been...
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Damn well need to see
One year ago, almost to the day, my post was titled “I Need to Read.” Six months ago, my post was titled “See.” The immediate thought was that the cycle was shortening, and the pain was increasing....
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We have eyes yet see not. Ears that hear not. And hearts that neither feel...
I think a lot about the contrast between banality and wonder. Between disengagement and radiant ecstacy. Between being unaffected by the hear and now and being absolutely ravished emotionally by it....
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“Which do you pick?”
And so I ask Helen my favorite question: “If you could have one sense back, which would it be?” Her fingers go round and round in circles, and I can feel the girl actually thinking in my palm. “Which...
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Opia
opia – n. the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable–their pupils glittering, bottomless and opaque–as if you were peering through a...
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No more tears. Here’s to good outcomes.
It’s a ritual before bedtime. Nightly. Now running for 14 months. I stand in front of the bathroom mirror. Take a deep breath. Raise my left hand to pull down the lower left lid, Raise my right hand...
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Mondays, Miracles & Musings
You wake up and body parts are functioning. Turn the key in the ignition and all systems are go. Until they don’t. Two eyes on Sunday. 1.5 on Monday. Painfully nagging recurring eye disorder. Detailed...
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Color
I was watching this video (3:15 am, in the dark) and seeing florescent orange in my peripheral vision from the digital clock on the dresser – and feeling gratitude wash over me. I marvel at what...
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Perspective (noun): An Anvil Dropped On Your Head.
It was 11:30 am this morning. A bruising day and still on the wrong side of noon. A meeting. A call. Another call. Another Call. A meeting. Another meeting. And triple tasking, banging out emails...
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I want to stick around till I can’t see straight
…spending many hours — sometimes all day…while sitting in front of the screen, she told me, “I developed burning in my eyes that made it very difficult to work.” After resting her eyes for a while,...
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Muro 128
I’m freakish about putting anything near my eyes (and anything touching my Adam’s Apple like a turtle neck – I tug and tug and tug at it to Free Willy. Get it off! Get it off! Or the mouth guards...
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It’s beyond belief to step outside and see so little, just a milky haze
Blindness is enveloping. It’s beyond belief to step outside and see so little, just a milky haze. Indoors, a smothering dark. It means that you can’t shed a mood of loneliness with a brisk walk down...
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She suggests a minimum of one hour of sustained gaze (Right! Errata, 1 min?)
“Try not to blink,” says the performance artist Marina Abramovic. “The more you blink, the more you think.” In the spring of 2010, Abramovic spent over 700 hours looking into the eyes of more than...
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20/20
My grandfather Aleksey Tolstoy, a famous Russian writer…committed himself wholly to literature… I didn’t start out a writer, and had no plans of becoming one. Although I happily swam in imaginary...
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Good Friday
Notes: Inspired by: “…arrived quietly…playing it cool. If we hadn’t been looking we’d never have seen (them). I wondered then and still wonder what giants we miss by not looking.” ~ Leif Enger, Virgil...
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It’s been a long day
I remember, I remember … I closed my eyes. Eyelids are really just flesh curtains. Your eyes are always “on,” always looking; when you close them, you’re watching the thin, veined skin of your inner...
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Sunday Morning
One of the earliest texts on the eye—its structure, its diseases, its treatments—Ten Treatises on Ophthalmology, was written in the ninth century by the Arab physician Hunayn ibn Ishaq. The individual...
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Go on.
Thirty years ago, I was remembering, an eminent writer had given me some unsolicited advice. Just look at an orange, she said. Go on looking at it. For hours. Then put down what you see. – C. P....
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